The Facts: More Fathers are being Fathers than ever Today. {Don’t Give me That About Time} I have to ask this questions after experiencing several parenting situations up close and personal with family’s. Also, Those cases being the driving force that lead me to conduct a serious research. ‘The The Fathers -vs- Mothers’ Today in 2014. Where, Family Courts and Child Custody Sources, such as DFACS in The state of Georgia. Where my research lays heavily.
Now, The “BIG QUESTION” ? Are these channels.So out dated with they’re laws, rulings and investigating procedures on how they determine a child’s custody and the parenting decisions Today ! in this advance state of Young Adult – Mothers & Fathers .
I had the unpleasant opportunity of watching a gentlemen self employed for the most of his life and now in his early 40’s. Get railroad by the courts over what I feel is a No Brainer. I had to ask “John Doe” is what we will refer to this gentleman. You’ve have three kids two biological and one you fathered in a relationship and yet. You’ve never change a pamper on either of these kids,held neither at birth,signed not one birth certificate and yet you still send money’s, provide clothing and what ever else asked of you that you’re able.
BUT! John Doe is not allowed to see, visit or talk to these kids at his convenience,attend holiday or school functions or have the child for holiday’s or summer vacation. I saw fit to involve myself for two reason.
1) Make a difference in this gentleman’s life.
2) Get these kids they’re fathers love and involvement that the world say’s. Kids are missing and ask “Fathers to Man UP”
3) See up under the hood of the other side,The fathers for myself .
4) Have an actual real life situation to implement my research and reveal my findings
5) Last, Honestly be able to weigh in and understand both sides .
Before expressing my say about “Mothers -vs- Fathers” when it comes to the Kids.. First, I examined the full scope of each relationship with the mothers regarding the kids and why so much anger, deceit and child bartering is in place.
Oh wow did I bite off a bunch. The first mother would remind you of “Ne Ne Leaks” her Mouth.I could not get a word in without the (?) are you F*cking Him..
After a few days she gave me a call back after researching me and seeing I was genuine in my reason for contacting her on this matter. After all the facts were on the table .Her side and His story. I would honestly have to say without “Sugar Coating” Shes very wrong to deprive the child from day one over her & his personal relationship not panning out .Yet John Doe was overly ready and willing financially and genuinely ready to father the child from day one.
The mother saw fit to use the system to damage John Doe, instead as a measure to mend her emotional pain. Due their break up. The mother decided to take the child into hiding, not giving any opportunity for John Doe to have at parenting. There was no abuse on his behalf, physical or mental as the mother did clarify. Her family did not see “John Doe” as worthy.
At age 17 The child found John Doe online. After much talk of his success and information provided by the mother and family members, Gossip. The child ran away to meet his father and clear his head as to why John Doe was never there as a father. Just sent money’s. John Doe, Immediately called the mother to inform her,where her child was and that he would under NO circumstances answer the child’s question to why he were never there to father him. Until she gave the child her saying first.
I’ve spoke with the son now age 21 now and blames his mother for stealing his Son -Father relationship at birth. But still loves her as a his mother .But, not his friend. John Doe and son are spending allot of time catching up.Thanks to Gurl Talk TV Show .
Child #2 Age 15 To Date. Fathered when John Doe was on the west coast and feeling his entrepreneurship. Met an Asian love of his life and again. The family out cast John Doe for race issues. Ms Asia we’ll refer to her and John Doe. Both endured a very painful struggle to bring together, what they’ve been thrown into by her parents dis owning their very own daughter. Due her preference in men to date. New on the west coast and just started his first business venture. John Doe made it work and provided all he could on his salary. I guess this were not enough for the Asian princess. Who decided to return home to her parents at age 23 and pregnant to luxury and agree to never see John Doe ever again and have the grand parents raise the child in traditional Asian culture.
I got in contact with Ms Asia .Now miserably married to another male out side her race and less fortunate in life.Ms Asia was very nice to opened up immediately after I explained. why I were contacting her. She went on to explain the disconnect from John Doe and herself 16 years ago and that it was something she’d always regret till this day .
She has kept Son #2 apprised at who his father is and why hes not there. She went on to explain she does not have custody of son #2 after a five year prison term and her parents has taken son #2 and forbidding her to contact John Doe or they would not provide attorney and provisions for her current court case, when she were locked up and now out on parole. Also the parents filed for child support and all kinds of assisted services that has Ms Asia even paying child support and John Doe being sought for non payment of child support.
So, I contacted the west coast child support services and spoke with the representative over the case. OMG!! These people are unbelievable. They were more interested in “John Doe” coming out to the west coast and getting locked up,than sorting things out on who actually owes what and legitimize the child into his fathers name. John Doe, Has turned it over to an attorney in Atlanta to collaborate with a firm on the west coast. They’ve taken both statements from mother , John Doe and Grand Parents.
The grand parents are very well off with serious influences and has express they are not interested in reasoning for legitimization or visitation rights to they’re grand son. That the mother has relinquished all rights,while incarcerated to the grand parents.Where John Doe was unaware during Ms Asia incarcerated. John Doe could have filed for custody of his biological son,If he had known. The grand parents custody came without John Doe’s knowledge and he’s been paying child support to the grand mother for the last 10 years. John Doe has assisted Son #2.with Cash,Christmas gift , clothes .electronics Etc..
The grand parents who are very well off actually have implemented child support scam. The child support services are reluctant to even investigate. I nor the attorney’s could not believe what the family courts on the west coast were saying. They have John Doe owing over $80K In back child support that the Grand Parents have been receiving from the mother and John Doe for Son #2 still in progress.
Child #3 Now, This son hits here in Good Ole Atlanta Georgia. Son #3. I’m very familiar with this case from day one John Doe and Ms Dominican met. “Reader” Answer me this ? please ! Have you ever known someone, who seems to meet all the wrong guys or girls.
Meeting at an event, where John Doe, Myself and Ms. Dominican all attended the popular business networking functions at a 4 Star Hotel chains around Atlanta.
I had a conversation with Ms Dominican a few times and express she should set her sights on men of substance that are Goal Orientated. Not these posers around the scene with leased exotic cars. Next function I see Ms. Dominican and John Doe hitting it off and plenty of smiles on both ends. They became regulars on the scene.
The next I spoke with Ms.Dominican in passing her spirit illuminated as she explained they were not an item (YET) that she preferred working projects with him and benefit events for now. That was best for them both and she still had her freedom, because no matter what !.She loved her thug guys. Ok I said. She expressed that he assisted her in becoming self employed finally after four years of trying on her own. John Doe, Provided her lead generations and her first 10 accounts and they had an understanding.
I was actually happy for this girl. A few months later I run into John Doe and he explained hes the happiest man on earth .That Ms.Dominican and Himself were expecting a child that they were attending the Gynecology together and saw the baby for the first time through ultra sound. I expressed finally you get your chance to father a child and I have NO doubt he would be a great father The following two months I get a phone call from John Doe asking to meet over coffee.
There he explained Ms.Dominican is holding the child hostage that hes cursed this is happening all over again. John Doe explained the contents of their relationship were. She didnt want strings attached .Due her independence as a entrepreneur and that he was ok with her request, She also stated she wanted to give John Doe what hes always wanted a child and that they would raise the child equally as business parents. John Doe was ok with that as well. However, The Ms.Dominican turned the tables three months before the child is due and ask for John Does hand in marriage.
John Doe is startled and said NO that we are not in that type of relationship. Ms. Dominican wanted self employment and in exchanged Ms. Dominican sought to give John Doe a child and these relationships are very common in today’s world. After a legal consult and for the child’s consideration .John Doe said ok and had a Pre-Nuptial agreement drafted in the child favor only.
When presented to Ms.Dominican she went crazy and threatened to leave with the kid .If John Doe didn’t marry her without a Pre-Nuptial Agreement. John Doe filed immediately to legitimize the unborn child . Ms Dominican filed for a protection order against John Doe as measure NOT to get served with the legitimization court papers. Protection orders, they hand those out like food stamps without cause. While, John Doe is back in court to get a special investigator to serve the Ms. Dominican the court papers to appear in court. Ms. Dominican disappears from Atlanta Ga. to California with child. “Abandinmnet”
Never to be seen or heard from again. Americas Child Custody Courts and DFACS is in need of a Major Over Haul.These situations are not new to society,they date back since the existence of time.
It’s NOW time for laws to be put in place to prevent this type of CHILD HOSTAGE SCAM ! and allow fathers to be fathers. Preventing this type activity I am sure will cut down allot of kids being fatherless and forced into criminal acts to survive. Also cut down the dead beat dad % dramatically. Fathers are honestly given NO Grounds/Rights or Leverage in the say of a child that was jointly produced. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t be able to find the will to even want to take care of a child that I have NO say in they’re lives.
It’s truly a Dead Beat Mom World Today !
Written By: Amaris Soph’e Adara / Gurl Talk Television Show Host
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